From Sanjana's Playlist.......

Real strength comes from within.

We may think that people support us, but only if you are strong enough to stand are we really able to do it.

A support system remains merely that, until there is motivation to move from within. This framework keeps you with the flow, but when we hit the eddies it is the sheer strength from within which enables us to break out of the current and escape it.

When we fall in life, we need a safety web. The strength of this is essential for survival. We all think we have strong webs- these may be of either of the following two types:

A strong web made of several strands- with the strength coming from the volume.

or

A strong web made of very few strands, but those which are extremely tensile.

When one of the strands breaks, the web needs to modify itself so as to cover the loophole.

Today I did something I have never done before, something I had always deemed impossible.

I ran fast.

I ran long.

I did 25 km.

I ran all alone.

I ran without music.

I ran with my thoughts.

As the very famous ad goes- “impossible is nothing”

It was my best run this season.

I have learnt to run on my own now. We never really know what we are capable of doing until we actually do it.

Life throws up the most unexpected situations.

As I heard in sanjana’s ipod- a song by Kelly Clarkson:

“What doesn’t kill you, only makes you stronger”

It is nine years to Ketu as of yesterday- 8th September 2012.

Many ways of Learning

The summer holiday this year had been unusual. We had a “Stacation”!( a term i just learnt ).

It has been a great Stay-at-home-Vacation. My work was easy and the kids were relaxed. We caught on all our movies, as well as entire seasons of TV shows.

The cherry on the icing however, has been....

“THE COOK-OFF”!!!!!

What started as a simple idea, turned into an elaborate project as I outlined the rules and chalked out the score cards. They began over the weekend, when they both attacked google to get their menus in order. Their list of ingredients was exotic and their dishes were ambitious.

As time passed by the personalities of both my children became apparent. Sanjana, the planner who is into presentation and winning.. Arnav on the other end of the spectrum was laid back, haphazard but very intuitive about taste.

Presenting the rest of the story in a short film......

The Cook Off

As Arnav observed very wisely at the end of it all........he says to me- “it was a learning experience, mom!”

Music

“If music be the food love, play on!”

Immortal words……

Ketu’s passion for music is legendary. When he went to USA for his masters, he didn’t miss any live show! I think his main criterion for selecting his university was its close proximity to New York, so he could be a part of the music in the city. From watching Paul Simon in Central park, he travelled far and wide to see them all. The much envied CD collection in my drawer is a comprehensive representation of the music scene over the 70s, 80, and the 90s. I have inherited entire discographies of bands- a varied collection of hard rock and metal.

When I would ask a simple question about music, it would result in a full fledged lesson- the band, its roots, its history, and how they evolved to become who they did! I like music too, but it ends with the popular hits of my growing up years, namely the late 70s and 80s. I float in the age of disco and the frivolity of pop! My contribution to his collection is- greatest hits….by Abba, Madonna and the like!

Cut to fifteen years later………

I get educated again!

The greatness of rock, the relevance of alternative lyrics and the contribution of heavy metal bands to the world!!!!!!!! And this time, it’s by my rocker son!!!!!!

Arnav’s music career began five years ago when I forced the keyboard upon him.  He persisted patiently for three years, and as soon as he saw a chance, he promptly dropped it in favour of the much cooler guitar…….a bass guitar, no less! Now the house reverberates to the amplified sound as Arnav finds himself, expresses himself.

In the middle of his final exams last weekend, as we pored over quadratic equations, triangles and arithmetic problems, in the breaks he took in between, Arnav took his passion a shade deeper. Within the hour he had designed a blog and penned a post! As words poured out, he followed it with two others, much to my amazement!

Presenting……….

 Rock through my eyes

Our 4 minutes to fame

As our reading group reconvened to take on the daunting Iliad, we were introduced to Shonan.  A few books into the epic; she casually mentioned that she was planning a flash mob. Intrigued by the novelty I said that I was up for it. (Not realizing that she really meant it!) Sure enough a month down the road….was an email sitting in my inbox……a very comprehensive one, explaining the concept of a flash mob, embedded with an extremely successful video of a flash mob at a station in Antwerp. As I reread it, more calmly this time…panic struck me …big time! I had definitely lost it…to have agreed for this…..and to take the craziness further I had to get 20 people to participate! I could not think of 2, let alone 20!

After sleeping over it, I took a deep breath and told Sanjana. She had an incredulous expression on her face. Next was Rhea (who I think I bull dozed into this ;)) after much contemplation I found Nadya (who loves dancing as much as Sanjana) and Sangeeta (my friend who is open to new ideas).Soon enough we were a respectable group of 8!
Shonan was extremely well organized……..we chose our practice timings (Batch 1- who had to learn the entire dance -whew!). Come 8.40 pm on Monday- our first practice, our hearts raced as we heard the opening bars of Rang de Bansanti!  What a lovely, uplifting patriotic song she had picked! As us, the 40 year old aunties struggled to pick up the steps, the kids breezed through it- having great laughs as we practiced (in front of the mirror and the computer!)

Excitement levels ran high as the entire mob gathered at the PDP football ground for the final practice. As usual Shonan was on top of things, with handouts with precise instructions for each one of us. Except…there is always room for the unexpected!

Come 4.30 pm on Sunday, at CST the music started 3 minutes before time……..commuters wondered what was going on and the pulse of the mob went out of control! After this false start, the music restarted. Little had Shonan expected that the crowd will gather in a matter of seconds! As a result, after Priya and Shonan the rest of us had to elbow our way into the crowd. (It looks awesome in the video, but was a little scary in reality). But once we began there was no stopping us!
Time had stopped! Trains had stopped! Music flooded the station! The energy was electric! The onlookers were stunned! They had no idea what was going on! It was simply unbelievable! 200 people…in a choreographed dance at this beautiful 100 year old station……

And the master stroke was the way we dispersed (under instruction from Shonan). We left the crowd gaping- hungry for more! They could not fathom how the last 4 minutes of their life had just passed by in a flash!

Oh, what a thrill it was! And I’m still flying on the high!!!!!

What an amazing achievement for Shonan, with all the permissions and to manage a crowd like this. Truly a major feat! And all for the love of our city……..
Thank you Shonan!

Flash mob CST- The Official Video

For my father in law.......

To live in the face of death.
To prepare to let go of oneself.
We all know the eventual end, but to accept the loss of self, loss of personal identity looks very difficult. It is our ego that wants to be remembered.

What is self, this self that we take so much pride in? It seems to be the villain, whom we need to detach from if we need to live with the full acceptance of death.

The concept of the transmigration of the soul gives us hope for the continuity of self. Firm belief in the distinct natures of the soul and the body gives us the courage to gracefully walk towards death. This mitigates the finality and gives us hope of perpetuating our self.

True believers can easily imbibe this and live by it.

Non believers will gather courage to accept the inevitability.

But me, sitting on the fence......may god help me!(what irony)

So instead of being fatalistic, it would, that we rather live by choice, in the moment, for the day.

"It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died.
 Rather we should thank God that such men lived."
                                                   -George Patton

                                       

8^th September

A normal day in most of our lives, including mine. Sukhpreet , my friend asked me this morning, what plan. Pat came my reply, that  its regular as any other day.

Now i wonder, is it really the same? Should it be the same?

As my mind struggles to the answer, I get a revelation...........

I am telling myself that today is a part of my routine, as there is comfort in the familiar. To acknowledge that today is a day of significance would be to reopen a badly healed wound.

It is 8 years today to Ketu’s passing away.


I would like today to merge into the rest of the days as i have let it happen for so many years.
But if I did that it will lose significance and one day, lose its existence. it will even cease to be a memory.

 The pain of absence needs to be converted into the joy of remembrance. A celebration of what was!

Today is a place me and the kids have arrived at, on a journey started by ketu and me, along a path chosen by us. He has been a guiding force at a lot junctions in my life, and the decisions which I thought were unilateral, were not so in reality. The nine years we spent together have been a big influence in my life.

Ketu was a loving, sensitive and an intelligent man. He lived his life to its fullest and believed in dying young, like his idols Jim Morrison and Kurt Cobain. Maybe he was intiutive about his destiny.

Hope he is at peace wherever he is.

Cheers to Ketu! Cheers to Life!

mumbai marathon 2011

Another year and my annual half marathon………

This was my best – with 2 hours and 9 minutes, its my ticket to the full marathon in 2012 (yes I know I said it last year too-but this year I’ll do it!)

This year has been a year in which my running has taken me to a whole new level and vice versa…..starting with the running group I joined. Nimisha- who is Rima’s friend initiated me into this group-she made me comfortable and has become a great friend. So with “Savio’s Slaves”(Savio is our trainer-an accomplished marathoner and a wonderful human being) I trained for the Delhi run, which was in November. As a result I was ready for the distance a full 2 months before the Mumbai run-so I could polish my timing and the like for Mumbai!

Running with this group has been a great learning experience. Running has become a way of life for most of us-but to see the level we can push ourselves mentally and physically-that’s amazing- just when you think you’ve hit an all time high-we need to find a way to go beyond that! The key is how does one find the motivation to achieve?

So one runner in particular-Suvir-he is a good runner-and a better talker-there has been no run when he has been quiet for more than a minute continuously on any of our runs-be it a short 9k one or a grueling 21k. Somehow I found him-and we have run together ever since- and he has made me pick my pace and ensured that I complete each run. My most memorable runs this year have been with him: my first long-16k run and my longest -25k run.

This motley group has a common passion-which borders on madness. I met people who train for ultra marathons-50k races and also others who are running the 90k uphill run in South Africa in may this year-a complete mountain run. The more I interact with them I realize that people really challenge themselves-and create new boundaries………

So, with then I pushed mine with time and distance several times and discovered a new way to live. I came out of my comfort zone and decided to challenge myself.

To quote from a book, “Dare to Run”, by an ultramarathoner: “The words of John Bingham ring true: “The miracle was not that I completed the race, the miracle was that I had the courage to start it.”

These amazing words inspire me to continue running and to expand my horizon-and go for it!

The difficult we do immediately, it’s the impossible that takes time!

I have been on a long journey……and this seems to be an end- and this end is a beginning ….

So thank you all for all the support you have given to me over the years- and this includes my children, arnav and sanjana, my parents, my inlaws, rima,sandeep, my friends,sukhpreet, nikita , aparna and nimisha and a whole host of others who give me their good wishes and ruin their Sunday morning sleep to cheer me………